The Value of Being Liked

You want to know the secret to customer retention? Be nice. I mean damn, is it that hard for people to understand?

Do you want your retention rate to be over 90% where industry average is 75%? Half the battle, in fact I would say almost all the battle, is making sure that your customers like you. This doesn’t mean that they have to invite you over to their house for dinner, but you also don’t want them rolling their eyes every time your number shows up on their phone.

As long as your product is good why the hell should your customers go anywhere else? I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably the reason why! Think about this tomorrow as you go through your day. Are you smiling while you talk to prospects or clients? Does your voice inflection change? Do you laugh? If the answer is “no” I promise you the person on the other end of the call isn’t enjoying it either.

You know why my retention rate is better than yours? People like me better than you.

What’s the plan here?

Welcome to post numero uno of what I hope to be a longstanding relationship. Of course, we may never know because I have a bad habit of putting a lot of thoughts into word documents that never see the light of day, but here’s do doing something about that. My reasons for starting this are entirely selfish and the end game for me is nothing more than catharsis.

Some background:

I work largely in the world of inside sales and customer retention, which is the title I use to avoid telling family and friends that I’m that unbelievably annoying phone call you’ve probably received either reminding you that you owe me money, or that I’d like you to be in the business of owing me money, and then making sure you stay in that business.

For someone who deals with an incredible amount of strangers on a daily basis I have an incredibly low tolerance for people’s crap.

“Sorry, I just don’t think this is within our budget?” 

• “ You’re full of it. I wouldn’t be calling you if my product wasn’t designed to fit into your budget. Why don’t you cut down on the 87 legal pads you probably go through in a week and try writing on both sides of the paper.”

 

“ I don’t think this product is right for us.”

•  “Seriously! Do you think I’d be wasting my time calling you if you weren’t a damn good fit for my product? There’s a reason we spent what is truly a ridiculous amount of money to buy your contact information from some weird third party provider.”

I am also, simultaneously, the most impatient and patient individual I know of.

“Hey, your product looks great! I think this is a perfect fit, let’s get this rolling.”

• “Perfect! Hand over your credit card info buddy.”

“I’ve just gotta run it by my team first, but I’ll get right back to you.”

• *facepalm* “Great….talk to you in six months. But I’ll be sure to follow up with you every week so you can tell me you’re just hammering out the details again. I mean what the hell happened to your team? Did they all decide to take a four week vacation the day after our meeting that YOU scheduled because it was a good time to chat?”

Any of this sound familiar?

Well, since my wife is sick of hearing about it you all get to be on the receiving end.

My goal here is to get something on paper at the end of each sales day. A brief recap of successes and failures, and hopefully to provide some advice and insight for others. When that actually sees the light of day…who knows.

I am obsessed with my job and am driven by my intense need to ensure that I am a top performer year in and year out.  I also look forward to being on the receiving end of some of your infinite wisdom.

Whether you’re a thirty year vet who can sell cyanide to a rat, or a doe eyed rookie who stutters through their own name when an actual human finally picks up the phone, our goals are all basically the same: closing the sale.